Renee Dunlap...

Who knew that the name Renee Dunlap sitting in my email inbox could make my heart beat like crazy.
Renee Dunlap is the HR person for Whiting Schools where I just submitted an application.  So now you can understand why seeing her name in my email would get my heart pumping.

But alas, it was a formality email.  A two sentence email to let me know that they received my application and will contact people who meet the job requirements.  In other words, it was nothing. But it was at least nice to know that they got my application and weren't afraid of using my email address.

I am terrified.  I feel like my entire life is riding on this job.  Everything that happens for the rest of my life depends on this.  If it happens Mark has the potential for opening his own trucking company in Indiana, something he could never do up here.  If it doesn't happen Mark and I will have more financial struggles because the cost of living up here is crazy high.  If it doesn't happen it will be another year and a half before I could work here.  Which in turn gives us a longer time frame before we could start our own family.  Every plan that we have for the rest of our lives depends on this job.

Mark exudes confidence.  He believes without a shadow of a doubt that I will get the job.  While it is wonderful to have such a supportive husband, I wish I had that same confidence in myself.  I am terrified, and desperate.

I could use some major prayers about this.  This is the breaking point.  I desperately need this to happen.