Mary was my best friend for the first 18 years of my life. I know now that her death was good because it ended her suffering, and her next moment will be the kingdom. This is a perspective I didn't have at the last funeral I went to. It is just one of many lessons that I have learned from Mary.
Mary and I had nicknames for each other. She called me Megami, and I called her Mahi. I don't remember how those names came to be. I do remember that we cracked up when at 15 we learned that there was a fish called Mahi Mahi. We had code names for other people/things too. (Something that I get the feeling most girlfriends do around the age of 14). Her cousin Andrew who I had a crush on for years was referred to as "cuz boy". A guy Mary had a crush on was referred to as "Ladies Man" or "LM" for short.
I say Mary was my best friend for 18 years because after we finished high school we drifted apart. I was hard headed and said some things I regretted. It didn't take long to reconcile with her, but our friendship was never as close as it had once been. In 2007/2008 Mary and I took up emailing each other again. I told her about my struggles with teaching in LA she told me about her struggles with her cancer. She came to my wedding. This past year at Hanover, when we were talking, I knew she knew that it would be her last time at that place. Hanover is littered with memories I have with her from the time we were 5 years old. I just feel like sharing one memory from Hanover with Mary that was probably the single best memory I have of her because it show what a good friend she was.
In the summer of 2004 we had a tragedy in our family. Ann and Aaron had a baby who died at birth. Our family was devastated. I remember what I was wearing that day. I remember having to call Sarah and tell her the sad news. I remember snippets from the baby's funeral. I remember the hymn we sung. I remember little else from that week. One thing I do remember that week was that agonizing decision of whether or not to go to Hanover the following week. I kept thinking that I shouldn't go to Hanover that year because it was too soon after the baby. I struggled the whole week. One afternoon I was laying in my room at Hanover. All of the other people were out and about participating in all the various activities.
I was not. I didn't feel like it. Then all of the sudden Mary walked into my room. (At this point Mary and I were in more of an acquaintance type friendship). She asked what I was doing and when I failed to give an answer she demanded that I get up because I was going to take a walk with her.
So off we go. We talked a little bit about the situation with the baby and how I couldn't get that hymn from the funeral out of my head. We talked and joked about the cicadas. That particular year there were swarms and swarms of cicadas in the trees. If you looked closely at the trees you could see tons and tons of cicadas that had shed their skin. Mary, the lover of all things nature was fascinated by these little bug shells. That was when I snapped this picture of her and a cicada shell.
As the week at Hanover went on things got better until one night at devotions, we sang the same hymn that I had sung at my nephews funeral. I had a panic attack. I ran straight to my room heaving and sobbing and shaking. Not long after I was in the arms of 3 of my friends...one of whom was Mary. They had all run after me because they all knew why I was so upset.
I came away from that moment with a huge appreciation that I had Mary there for me that week, and wondered why in the world I had ever stopped being close with her.
I take my lessons on friendship from Mary. I take lessons on faith from Mary.
A horrible day like today has made me excited for the kingdom, and a time when I can see my dear old friend again.
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