Till We Meet Again

So sad to hear about Mary's passing today.  Just thought I would repost these pictures of some good times we had together.

Another one of those hope things

So while I was home for Christmas I happened to be talking to my cousin Angie about the apparently crumbling school systems in the area and the latest scandal taking over the Valparaiso school system.  Angie and I chatting about schools and teaching gave me a thought the next day.

Why don't I just check the department of Education website and see what jobs are currently out there.  SO I click through the website and all the sudden I see an opening for a high school social studies teacher at Hebron high school.  A small school, in a small town about 30 mins from my parents house.  WOW.
It starts in a couple weeks.  It would be perfect.  It would make immigration wonderfully fast.

So I will be sending in all of my stuff for that today.  It makes me wish and  hope that the position hasn't already been filled.  After all it has been posted for a couple of weeks.  So here goes nothing. It gets my hopes up and all I can think about is that this is all in God's hands.  I just hope that this is what God has planned for me.

We shall see.  Prayers appreciated.

The things that matter

The way I feel right now makes me put that last post into a bit of perspective.  I've just been crying in my husbands arms for the past couple of minutes.

My usual Sunday call home was a bit depressing as Ann informed me that Mary Bobis is in hospice and not expected to make it into the new year. 

I don't know what else to say.  It is hard to say goodbye.

Dear Canada

(FYI I need to vent for a moment)

Dear Canada,
Thank you for being a life ruiner.  You are now responsible for the worst haircut I have had in my life. (Well maybe not the worst...look at idy pictures from 2003) But this is pretty bad.  I went to get my haircut and asked that she make my bangs a little thicker and shorter.  So she did so to my specifications, but I still wanted them shorter.  Then lo and behold what does she do but cut me regular bangs!  So the wonderful side bangs that I loved were gone to be replaced by regular bangs that look hideous!  Just in time for Mark's work christmas party tonight.  I AM SOOO IRRITATED! I don't know what I'm gonna do with them. UGH!
-Dear heart always instilled in me when I was young not to "cry your eyes out" over a bad haircut...So I'm not.  But I am soo not happy.
I blame these horrible bangs on the fact that I live in Canada and haven't been able to go to my trusty hair stylist in Valpo who I loved.  I know it is irrational to think this wouldn't happen if I didn't live in Canada...but honestly it is my first thought whenever anything goes wrong.

I HATE CANADA!
the end.

Age

I don't know about you, but I have been feeling old lately.  Here are a couple of stories for your enjoyment...

Within the past year I have found not one, but several gray hairs on my head.  Is this really happening??????  Gray hair?? On my head?????? REALLY???  Already? I haven't even  hit 30 yet. Shouldn't I have like another 10 years at least?  When I was in Indiana over the summer, I had told Sarah that I had found a couple gray hairs on my head.  She snorted and said, "That's nothing, I have tons now."  I looked closer at her hair and couldn't believe my eyes.  It was literally like my sister got old right in that moment before my eyes. I could not believe the amount of gray hairs that she had on her head.  Now in reality, it really wasn't that many, but it was enough for me to think, "Wow".  The gray hair syndrome is enough to make me think how fast time is flying.  -Then I realize that I just said "boy time sure is flying by fast" and that makes me feel old too.  It's a double edged sword.  (Watch me laugh at the ridiculousness that is this post in 20 years when I only have gray hair).

I don't know if all of you are aware of one of my more embarrassing facts of life.  I know that Sophie is well aware of this as she has seen me "take care of it".  But I won't lie, I have facial hair.  Yes it is sad to say I have an excessive amount of chin hair.  It was brought to my attention when I was in college and in the car with Ann and my mom.  They noticed that I had a lot of chin hair.  While blond, they told me I needed to "take care of it".  They were both laughing about it.  Ann commented that she only got hair like that on her chin when she was pregnant and her hormones were crazy.  Mom said she only got hair like that cuz her hormones were crazy from menopause.  Thanks guys.  Good to know you can laugh at me and make me feel old all at once.  So ever since then, I have taken care of the old chin hairs.  Oh you know I used the standard Nair face cream for awhile but have recently switched to wax strips which I find work better. (LOL).  But whenever I am taking care of the chin problem, it makes me feel old.  Have you ever not seen an old lady that had crazy long chin hairs??  No? Next time you see a really old lady, pay special attention to her facial hair, and you will think of me.

I however do know how old I am.  I am 26 years old, soon to be 27.  My husband on the other hand, has no idea how old he is.

Last week when we were driving to Indiana we were having what I like to call "future talk".  You know those conversations where you talk about your future plans and what not.  This particular night in the car we were talking about our future kids.  Picking names for those future kids, what kind of parents we will be, ect.  Finally Mark said, "Yeah I think if we had a kid by the time I was 30 that would be good."  (If I had water in my mouth it would have been spewed all over the car).  I looked at him laughing and said, "You know that's next year right?"  He replied "Wait how old am I?"  "You're going to be 29 in 4 weeks so yeah next year you will be 30."  "Oh well 31 then."  It made me laugh.

All of the baby talk makes me feel old too.  There have been (I feel) sooo many people popping out the kids this year that it makes me feel old.  Between my 2 sisters, my cousin, several people at meeting and several other acquaintances, it seems like baby fever is everywhere.  Are we really at that age where we are ready to have kids? (Hi Kres :-)  It seems so, and that also makes me feel old.  The fact that my 22 year old sister in law is probably gonna  be pregnant before too long makes me feel old.  Well, if I were to be honest with myself that doesn't make me feel old...that makes me feel jealous.  Because the truth is if we had a house I would want to have a kid right now.  But I am aware enough to know that it isn't our time just yet, and we have a lot of things to get organized first.

But for real...just thinking about all of that stuff (gray hair, mortgages, babies) it makes me feel old.  Am I the only one who feels old like this?

So to conclude...you all know that I am a low maintenance babe.  So I really need those gray hairs to stay away for a long while cuz you know I'm never gonna have the patience for coloring my hair.  Aw well, the age will come and I shall try to embrace whatever comes with it.

9 Hours

Mark and I spent Thanksgiving in Indiana.  So on Sunday we were driving back home.  We weren't the only ones either, the highways were packed, we hit a couple traffic jams....Not to mention the almost 2 hour wait at the border.

I don't know if you've ever taken a road trip with your spouse, but I do know that if you have been stuck in a car for 9 hours with your spouse it is likely that all of your issues will come to the surface.  At least that was the way it was for us.  Now I'm not saying that we have any major problems, but sometimes when you let some of the little things slide they add up.  So that was what happened when we got in the car.  We realized that we had gotten into a rut and our day to day routine wasn't helping.  So the car ride that forced the conversation inspired change.  We both made the effort to change a couple little things and it has made all the difference.

People say that marriage is hard for a reason...because it is.  But it is also sooo rewarding, especially when you work out your problems.

It is good to change things up.

Immigration

I think this post needs to start with a moment almost 2 years ago now.  Many of you will remember my surprise visit to California in January 2010.  This was 6 months before our wedding when Mark and I were still figuring out where we were going to live.  I was at Sophie's house watching a movie with her when Mark called me.  In short, it was a conversation that decided we were going to live in Canada.  I remember hanging up the phone, looking at Sophie and bursting into tears. 

Ever since then I have been agonizing over my living in Canada.  Wondering if I would be stuck living here for the rest of my life.  There have been so many times where I have thought that this move to Canada would be the end of my teaching career.  For me, the fact that we were starting our life in Canada meant that we would never be able to move back.  Mark on the other hand is my eternal optimist.  He promised me not long after we got engaged that he would get me back to the live in the US eventually.  So time went on and we finally came up with a plan.

I am amazed and so grateful at how quickly this plan seems to be coming together in front of us.  We thought Mark's brothers wouldn't be ready for Mark to start work till the end of Spring.  Now they might want him to start working with them in January.  We thought the immigration would take us a year or 6 months at the best.

After a month of waiting, Mark's paperwork has been approved!!  Now the visa center has to approve it and set up an interview with us and so on.  The visa center should contact us within 30 days to let us know.  I mean that is amazing!  I have no idea how long we will have to wait for the interview and everything, but it is definitely looking promising.  For the first time in a long time I feel like things are finally aligning.  This path is finally open to us, and I can't wait to see what comes from it. 

Back to the US for a great job for Mark.  Hopefully a teaching job for me.  To finally feel settled.  Moving to the US means we can finally get on with our lives and get ahead.  Work, for both of us.  A house.  Kids.  That is the direction, and I am so looking forward to it.  I have prayed for this move for so long.  Through all of my doubts, I am so thankful that those prayers are being answered.  So what have I learned??

I have learned about patience.  I have learned about my own faith. 

Another odd Canadian thing

This is something that has been bothering me for awhile.  I just never looked into it until last week.
When eating store bought chocolate chip cookies in Canada I always got an unpleasant crunchy kind of something in my teeth after chewing up a cookie.  Couldn't put my finger on it.  After awhile I finally realize what that strange crunchy thing was.

Coconut.
It seemed to me that these chocolate chip cookies I was eating had tiny little bits of coconut in them.  Not pieces big enough for you to see as you were eating your cookie.  But tiny little pieces that you could feel in your mouth.  They seemed to have the texture that is distinctly coconut.
Did you know that I hate coconut? I hate that texture in my mouth, I hate that little bit of crunch it has.  Can't stand it, it makes me feel like I need to scrape my tongue after I eat it.

So I finally made a point to read the label of the cookies.

Sure enough, there it was plain as day...allow me to copy and paste from the cookie website:

"Made with real chocolate chips

INGREDIENTS: ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR, CHOCOLATE CHIPS (SUGAR,  CHOCOLATE LIQUOR, DEXTROSE, COCOA BUTTER, MILK INGREDIENTS, SOYA LECITHIN, SALT, VANILLIN), SUGAR/GLUCOSE-FRUCTOSE, VEGETABLE OIL  SHORTENING (CANOLA AND/OR SOYA AND/OR COTTONSEED), BUTTER, LIQUID WHOLE EGGS, FANCY MOLASSES, DRIED UNSWEETENED COCONUT (CONTAINS SULFITES), BAKING POWDER, SALT, SODIUM BICARBONATE, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOUR.

ALLERGY WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN PEANUTS AND NUTS."

There it was right in front of my face!  WHY oh WHY in the world do chocolate cookies have to have coconut in them in Canada??  Mind, you I have tried a couple different brands. 
I really don't know why this is necessary, all I know is that it surely annoys me.  Just one more thing to add to the list of odd Canadian things.



You may be from Indiana if...

There was a girl I went to high school with that put this on her facebook page last night.  It made me laugh.  -I added a few explanations in case you aren't from Indiana.

 Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Indiana.
*If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't even work there, you may live in Indiana. (It is true that people are friendly...When I go running in Indiana you always nod your head or say hello to people you pass)
* If you've worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Indiana.
*If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Fort Wayne for the weekend, you may live in Indiana. (This was my whole childhood.  All of our family vacations were to state parks or to Indianapolis...all south of Ft. Wayne)
* If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Indiana.(How else do you explain how far things are?  Where's the mall? Oh its about a half hour away.)
*If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Indiana. (My dad twice)
*If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Indiana. (Very typical of months like October, and March.)
* If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Indiana. (Ì may flinch a little on the highway, I won`t lie...but lots of people don`t)
*If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Indiana. (Seriously, we never locked our house when I was growing up.)
*If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Indiana. (I definitely remember a couple of snowy Halloween nights in my life.)
*If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Indiana.(SOooo true.  The major highway to Chicago is 55mph through Gary...if you are going under 90 you will get run off the road)
* If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Indiana.(Absolutely)
*If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Indiana. (This is a well known Indiana joke.  Winter lasts forever, and when it finally leaves road construction is everywhere to fix all of the damage caused by the salt on the roads)
* If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Indiana.
*If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Indiana.
*If you actually understand these jokes, you definitely do live - or have lived - in Indiana

-Like I said, it made me laugh so I thought I would share.

Good Morning America

If any of you saw my facebook status yesterday you would have seen my excitement!  We got a letter back from the US government just saying that Mark's paperwork is being processed. 

So with that letter we can now apply for a visa for Mark! YAY!  Him getting that visa will allow us to move to the US while his green card is still getting processed!  I am definitely excited for this to all work out. So ready to get out of Canada.  Mark is soo ready to quit his job and work with his brothers.  So if this all goes to plan, Mark should start work with his brothers in like March and we should move in May or June!!! Absolutely CAN'T wait for that to all happen!

In other life news.  Something happened yesterday that I thought I would share because it made me feel very thankful.  Last night, Mark and I were at his parents house (yet again) helping them with the finishing touches of renovating their new house.  At about 9 o'clock Mark and his dad came downstairs.  Mark asked if I was ready to go.  I said sure whenever you are ready.  But then Mark's dad said why don't we try and just finish that room before you go?  Mark said okay even though he really didn't want to.  So they go at it for another half hour and Mark and I finally leave around 9:30.  As we are driving on the highway about halfway home traffic starts to slow.  Traffic starts to come to a dead stop.  A cop and a couple ambulances rush by.  Obviously there had been a really bad accident.  So we slowly creep forward and as we get closer we realize that the police have blocked off the highway and are making all traffic exit.  So Mark and I think, wow, that must have been one bad accident for them to shut the highway down.  So after a bit of extra driving, we finally get home. 

I was a bit curious when we got home and looked online to see what the deal was with that accident.  Turned out that around 9:20 or so a car got on the highway going the wrong way and hit somebody else.  Somebody died and like 3 other people were badly injured.  It made me think......

If we had left the parents house at 9 like Mark had wanted to we probably woulda been right there when the accident happened.  Just one of those things that got me thinking about the way things happen in life.  So like I said, thankful.

I've gone green...sort of

So in another attempt to be a bit more on the healthy side of things I decided to give green smoothies a try.  I gave the green smoothie thing a try last year unsuccessfully.  When I first tried it, I put a bunch of spinach in the blender along with some water and a few other things that I don't remember.  It was definitely green.  I was a little skeptical but decided to trust in the fad that so many of my facebook friends seemed to be into.  I poured said concoction into a glass and drank it up.  Let's just say that it tasted like liquid spinach.  I gagged and sputtered and got most of it down feeling very proud at how healthy I was being.  The next day I whipped up said concoction again.  This time, I was unsuccessful and could not bear to drink the liquid spinach.

Recently I have become more consistent with the running.  I am planning on running a 5k on Thanksgiving that is how consistent I have been.  So with that in mind I have been trying to get onto that healthy kick again.  My main problem is snacks.  I sit at home all day long with nothing to do except try to convince myself that I'm not hungry and shouldn't have a snack.  Before you know it I have had like 5 snacks during the day.  So this was about the time that I thought I would try the whole green smoothie thing again.

I knew that I had to adjust my recipe for it otherwise it would never work.  I had just bought some frozen strawberries that I thought I might use for breakfast occasionally.  I was already buying spinach for a dish I was making for dinner that week.  So I went to work on a new green smoothie.

I put one banana in the blender.  Then I added about a cup or slightly more of spinach.  Then I added a handful of those frozen strawberries.  I saw on pinterest somebody used green tea in their green smoothie, so I opted for that instead of just plain water.  Plus I had cranberry pomegranate green tea, so I figured it would just enhance the flavor.  I put the lid on the Ninja and set him to work (best blender ever by the way)

So what came out wasn't actually green in color which already made it more appealing than my first attempt.  Poured it into a glass and what do you know?  It tasted like a strawberry banana smoothie.  You wouldn't even know there was any spinach in it.  So I have stuck with that recipe for several weeks now and have been loving it.  I know it isn't as intense as what a real green smoothie it like, but it is working for me.  What I like the best about it is that it is very filling.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't ever replace a full meal with it, but it is working for those random parts of the day when I would normally reach for the cookies, or popcorn, or whatever it may be.

So that is my green story.  Maybe if I feel brave I will try some other greens besides spinach, and add more of it some time.  We shall see.

The Canadian Lexicon

I have dedicated a few posts to odd things in Canada.  You all remember milk in a bag, and gravy fries right?  Tonight I thought I would dedicate a post to the odd way that Canadians talk. 

I am sure you are all familiar with the most obvious and most well known words that Canadians say, and things they say that brings out that special accent.

The Word in English                                                  The Word as Canadians say it

1) About                                                                      1)  A boat.  Or A boot
2) Out                                                                          2)  sounds more like "oat" to me
3) Progress                                                                3)  Canadians pronounce this with a long o
                                                                                        sound "pro-gress"
4) Garage                                                                   4)  You will often hear this the way the British say
                                                                                         it, sounds more like carriage
5) Bathroom                                                              5) Not something they say in a strange way, they
                                                                                          just use a completely different word.  In Canada
                                                                                          the "bathroom" is actually the "washroom"
6) Eh???                                                         
Eh has to be one of the most annoying things to my life.  Especially because of the fact that every other sentence my husband(and everybody else) says ends in Eh?  Eh is a word that has a million different meanings based on what is being discussed.  It could mean "excuse me?" "can you repeat that?" "huh?" "right?" Pretty much if anybody is asking for an opinion they will say eh.  Example "It's nice out, eh?"  They will stick eh onto the end of almost anything to get someones opinion, and as confirmation that the other person is listening. It drives me crazy all the time.  I don't know how to respond to it.  I have to just shake my head when I hear my 2 year old niece say "eh", and pray that my own children don't catch the "eh" bug from their father.  At least in the case of my kids, they will grow up in the US and will hopefully get teased mercilessly if they ever said "eh" at school. 

just a bit more

GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS!!!!!!!!!

GUTS!

GUTS!

When my sisters and I were little our mom would always read the Ramona books to us by Beverly Cleary.  If you never experienced those books in your childhood, you missed out.  But anyway, last year they made a movie based on those books called Ramona and Beezus.  I thought the movie was fabulous and was transported to my childhood seeing Ramona come alive.  I was thinking about a couple of great scenes from that movie this weekend.

In the movie (and in the books as well) Ramona gets angry with her family.  So while they are sitting around the dinner table Ramona is so angry that she informs her family that she wants to say a really bad word.  So her parents say 'OK Ramona, go ahead and say it if you feel like you need to'. 
"GUTS! GUTS GUTS GUTS!!!"  Ramona yells.  Her family starts laughing which makes her feel even worse.  So Ramona winds up in the bathroom where out of anger she squeezes an entire tube of toothpaste into the sink.

I was thinking about that a lot this weekend.  I think those 2 moments in the life of Ramona Quimby are how I am feeling, and have felt for the past month..or more.  Frustrated at everything, and I don't know how else to explain it except for...
GUTS!!

Taco Catastrophe

So this has been one of those weeks that I could happily forget.  I don't know what it was exactly but the entire week I have been totally down in the dumps and in a completely horrible mood.  It all boiled over yesterday while I was making my lunch.

I was reheating some left over taco meat.  While that was in the microwave I was gathering the rest of the taco leftovers (guac, salsa, cheese, ect).  The microwave beeped and the delicious scent of tacos filled the air making my stomach growl.  As I pulled the container out of the microwave something happened.  While checking to see if it was warm enough, I bobbled it.  The before I knew it the container did a 360 in the air and the taco contents fell to the floor.  On its way down it managed to not only splatter the floor, but my pants, my socks, the dishwasher, and the cabinet.  I stood kind of dumbfounded for a minute looking at my lunch that was now all over the floor.  I was shocked and completely ticked off.  I won't lie, I was also on the verge of tears.  I held off the tears however, and let my anger take over.

I reached out to grab a paper towel.  One small sheet came off the roll. (You know the kind of paper towels that have small pieces instead of just one big piece).  This little piece was obviously not going to be enough so with more force, I grabbed the paper towel roll again.  One small piece tore off again.  This happened 3 more times only to infuriate me even more than I already was.  I yelled and started to clean up the taco slop that was now all over the floor.  My anger wasn't dissipating as I threw the mess into the garbage.  When I got that cleaned up I changed out of my taco splattered pants and socks. I pulled some shorts out of my closet, but the stupid closet door didn't close.  I slammed it.  The force of slamming my side of the closet shut forced the other side of it open.  So I slammed Mark's side of the closet shut, and my side opened.  Again, infuriating me beyond belief until I was slamming both doors with as  much fury and I could summon, also yelling at the same time.

I went back to the kitchen and looked at my plate with the taco shells and the gauc, slasa, cheese, ect.  My body surged with another bout of anger and I looked at this all and thought "What the heck am I gonna eat now?" I picked up the spoon and threw it into the sink litereally with all of my might.  Followed by the empty taco container.  I yelled some more.  I smashed the taco shells on my plate and decided to eat them with the guacamole and the salsa.  It was not very satisfying as the smell of tacos still hung in the air.  I settled infront of the computer where I had been watching a movie.  I was slightly more calm.   The chips and quac were not so filling.  The only quality lunch food that we had to eat were things that required time to cook.  I settled for pb&j.  That is the end of the Taco Catastrophe.

It normally takes a lot for me to get really angry.  It takes a lot for something to make me so mad that I want to scream and throw things.  I am usually pretty good at keeping my temper in check.  So why in the world did tacos make me oh so angry?

Well it really wasn't the tacos.  It was the whole week.  The whole week got off to a bad start and put me in a lowsy mood for the remainder of it.  Add that to the fact that for some reason this happened the be the week where my being confined got to me.  This was the week where my sitting at home doing nothing day in and day out made me lose my mind.  Looking back on the past year I can see that I go through phases with this.  I will go for awhile being okay and sitting in our tiny condo doing nothing won't phase me in the least bit.  Then I will have a week like this week where I feel like I am pulling my hair out.  I surely could have left home at least once of course.  But where would I go?  What would I do?  I wouldn't be able to spend money because as you know our car sunk our finances this month and we are barely hanging on till payday (which thankfully is tomorrow).  It was just one of those weeks, and I have been miserable.

Thankfully this craziness of this week is passing me by.  I was brought a step out of my funk by my brother in law Tim.  Well inadvertantly by my brother in law.  This afternoon Mark called me from work.  Tim had apparently called Mark this afternoon and was going on about how excited he was for us to move to Indiana and he wanted to know how soon we would be able to get out there.  Tim is excited to expand the company to Chicago area and excited for us to be there already.  This conversation made Mark very excited as well.  Mark hates where he is currently working and can't wait to be his own boss.  Mark will quit his current job and work with his brother here in Canada for a few months to train.  During this time we will sell our condo and live with his parents.  We'd only live with them for a couple months, 3 at the most before we make the transition to the US.  But it would certainly ease our current financial burden.  Anyway, the details aren't important.  The point is that Mark is telling me about his conversation with Tim with great enthusiasm. 

Which makes me realize, it really won't be long before I am out of Canada.  I can't wait to be out of Canada.  It is so hard for me to focus on that because while it is so close, it still seems so far away.  So today I remembered that it won't be long till I am out of Canada, and that is what brought me a step out of the Taco Catastrophe that has been this week.

Thanksgiving

It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada.  The actual Thanksgiving day is Monday.  So in honor of that I thought I might list a few things that I am thankful for at the moment (this is excluding the obvious things that I am thankful for such as family, and friends)

I am Thankful that after 3 trips to the mechanic to get our car fixed this week that it is actually finally fixed!  Long story short today's trip to the mechanic was only $50, which was fabulous that it wasn't any more.  So YAY for that.

I am thankful for the Library.  I love reading.  I like to read for at least an hour before I go to bed.  It puts me into a comfy, tired kind of mood that makes it easier to fall asleep (Sarah would call this dezoning).  So today I am thankful for the Library and 2 books that I am very excited to read.

Fall of Giants is a historical fiction book that follows 5 families from various countries throughout WWI.  Right up my alley.

Did you know that Wicked was a book before it was a musical?  I have known that for a long time, and for some reason, never picked up the book till now.  I am excited.

I am thankful for Maple Cookies.

I don't know if they sell these in the US or not.  I do know that I have never noticed maple cookies in the US, and I certainly never ate any until I was in Canada.  They are delicious!!!  The cookie part is a simple plain kind of sugar cookie.  Then between those maple leafs is delicious maple cream.  OH sooo yummy, and the perfect kind of thing to eat in the fall.  Imagine eating one with a cup of apple cider...the perfect combination of perfect fall flavors.  So thank you Canada for Maple Cookies!

That is my list for now.  I love you my lovely friends and wish you all a very happy (fake) Thanksgiving.

Pump It

I fell AWESOME right now!  WOOOOHOOOOO!!!  I just had the best work out that I have had in ages!!!

I don't know what it was!  I don't know if it was because I warmed up my legs really well before I ran, or because I have been consistently running the past week.  But today I ran 2 miles and felt AWESOME!!  Like my old self.  Like running 2 miles was nothing.  I felt like I coulda and shoulda run it faster, or coulda run farther.  But I'm not going to get crazy with it just yet.  I am gonna try and get to a 10 min pace before I start running 3. 

I had such a dull day today, and it was so depressingly cold and gray outside.  Getting to the gym changed the entire day for me and I feel FABULOUS!

So I shall leave you with this Black Eyed Peas song....cuz I feel like I have the energy that this song exudes.

Favorite movie/book

Hello all.  I know it is Friday night and you all probably have fabulous plans.  Because Mark and I got screwed by our car this month, we are flat broke.  Therefore this is one Friday night that is being spent at home.  Yes, I already mentioned how are car screwed us this month to the tune of 1,700$.  This week it decided to screw us again...fortunately(unfortunately) for only 130$.  But to say the least, we are in the negative until payday comes along.

So instead of having one of those fabulous "date nights" we had frozen pizza for dinner.  Mark is currently on the couch watching hockey (what else does a Canadian boy do on the weekend anyway?).  I am in bed with a glass of wine, some caramels, and watching the movie Eat, Pray, Love.  Some of my favorite movies were great books that I read.  A short list of some of my faves include:

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,
The Help
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Harry Potter
P.S. I Love You


I`m sure I could go on with good book/movie combinations.  I am focused tonight on Eat, Pray, Love, which is probably my favorite book/movie combo.  The book I thought was amazing.  While yes, Liz Gilbert had some skewed views on religion, I still quite enjoyed the rest of the book.

While I have been getting down about the way I look, I know that in my life I am never going to NOT want to eat sweets/unhealthy things (like frozen pizza for dinner).  So like she says in this clip, I have no interest in being obese, it is time to be through with the guilt.

Here's to bigger jeans my friends!

The absent minded professor and other recent adventures

When I was growing up the running joke in our family was that my dad was very forgetful.  It was never anything major.  He would forget things that we would tell him, he'd forget to pick Sarah and I up from track practice in middle school, he'd forget where he put something.  Mom called him the absent minded professor.

Over the weekend I had my own absent minded professor moment.  I misplaced our marriage licence.  I assumed that it accidentally got thrown out with the newspaper.  So I sent away for a new one.  It only cost 2 bucks, and we needed it for Mark's US immigration. On Saturday Mark asked me if I had mailed something that the Canadian government decided they needed relating to our taxes.  DING DING DING!! That's where the marriage licence was...in the scanner where I had made a copy of it to send in for that stupid tax thing.  Absent minded daughter.

Since finding that important paper in the scanner, I was now able to complete Mark's immigration and send it in this week.  Unfortunately thanks to the bank this did not happen.  We need to send a bank statement in with the immigration.  Sadly the last statement had my name spelt Mehan.  To make a very long story shorter, I corrected the mistake and asked for a new statement with my name spelt correctly.  This could not be done.  Seriously?? You can't just send me a statement?  I can't even go in to the local branch to get a new one?  No?? Seriously???  I can't get a new statement with my name spelt correctly (your mistake by the way bank of Montreal)? Really you can't do that?? I can't get a new statement until the next months comes in the mail? 

So now because of the bank I have to wait another 3 weeks to send in the immigration.  I was more than irritated.  I was furious!  I got home from my pointless adventure to the bank closed the door and immediately yelled, "I HATE CANADA!"  Knowing in my heart of hearts that something this idiotic would never happen in America.  My second reaction, after seeing all of the immigration documents spread out and ready to go, was complete frustration followed by crying.  The third thing that I did was to call Mark.  Crying on the phone with him he told me I was being irrational.  However irrational he thought I was being, he agreed that the bank was being ridiculous and he would call them himself and set them straight (typical guy).
He also got nowhere with the bank.  So now we wait.

In other news of my life.....these ARE as good as they look

you can find the recipe here Caramel Apple Cookies

This is currently my new favorite song.

Last but not least...I am going to run a 5k before this year is over.  Running more lately.  It's a good thing.

Hurdles

I haven't felt anything very inspiring, or interesting to post about.  Tonight I was looking for a little motivation so I opted to listen to my favorite Bob Lloyd class from Hanover in 2006.  He made a fabulous point in the class that always makes me smile and get me thinking.  So I thought I would just share it with you.  (I am paraphrasing what he said by the way)

Everybody was excited because it was time for the olympics.  Everybody gets excited about the olympics.  All the countries are there.  Imagine you are in the stands to watch the track and field.  It finally came time for the high hurdles race.  So they all get lined up at the starting line.  The US hurdle running gets in his starting position and looks down his lane.  There weren't any hurdles in his lane! So he was getting all nervous and trying to get the starters attention to tell them that there weren't any hurdles in his lane.  The race was to jump the hurdles and he'd be disqualified if he didn't jump any hurdles.  So they have to get people out to set up the hurdles, he wants to jump the hurdles, so he can run and overcome them and win the gold.

But when we look at our own lives we look at our troubles and get so upset by them.  So be thankful for the hurdles that God gives you to jump over cause you can't win without them.

Not tonight

TONIGHT I WILL NOT SIT ON MY BUTT AND EAT FOOD AND GAIN WEIGHT THAT MAKES MY BOOBS LOOK AS BIG AS PAULI CANADY'S HEAD.

GOING TO THE GYM!
THE END!

Happy day

So it has been one of those days where I have felt incredibly lazy and unmotivated.  So finishing up the day I thought it would be a good idea to look back at the things that made me happy today. The phrase happy day suddenly made me think of this:

Ahem..onto the things that made my day happy. 

* Amber Gerhart introducing me to pinterest

* A clean kitchen

* Delightfully crisp fall breeze drifting through my window

* A husband who just wants a hug when he gets home

* Eric Church and one of my favorite songs





Happily Exhausted

I am happily exhausted after a fabulously wonderful weekend away in Ohio.  It has been my favorite study weekend since I started going as a teenager.  Nathan Lewis gave some great classes on Esther.  He also told me to say Hi to all of you from him and Suzanna as well.  It was really great to see them!!  It was also very wonderful to see my Colleen there this weekend as well! 

This is the weekend where fall officially begins for me.  The air is crisp and so nice to get outside and "play" and sit around a bon fire.  I got to pet a miniature horse named Charlie, who was oh so cute.  I played corn hole with my husband and we dominated every team that we played (including my cousin Jonny and his wife katy...who are usually the best at the game).  Went through the corn maze in which something hilarious always happens.  For me Angie and I found it hilarious that we were walking through the maze with the maze creator and she could not figure out how to get out.

I was also very happy to get a little cuddle in with my cousins new baby Amos (who was born the same day as Colin).

Finally, this picture makes me very happy.

Katy, Abby, Kimmie, Me, and Angie.......the old married ladies.  Been friends with the Ohio girls for a long time now, and this picture  just makes me happy that we are still going to this study weekend and sitting around this same fire just like we did 10 years ago. LOVE IT

It's all good

Well friends, thanks for letting me vent a bit last night.  I am feeling much better today and happy to put yesterday behind me.

It was just one of those rare nights when Mark and I were both stressed and frustrated about the same thing....which makes everything seem a bit worse then it is.  So anyhow we talked and realized we are still okay and will survive the financial burden and I went to the gym to work off the frustrations.

So for the moment I am enjoying the wonderfully chilly fall-like weather and very much looking forward to our weekend away.  Very excited to get back to Ohio and spend time with Tim and Annalee and do those fall like things that I love.

Having a bon fire and playing corn hole make my life happy.  The end.

Fail

Our car broke this week. It wasn't a sudden thing, but one of those gradual things that needed to be addressed.  Unfortunately, it put us in the hole.  So now our credit card is not happy.


That has culminated in providing me with a pretty crappy evening.  I can look at the situation that we are in and realize that it is my fault.  I look at the strain on Mark's face and realize it is because of me.  With a now maxed out credit card and living paycheck to paycheck we are feeling the strain of a single income.  It makes me feel worthless not to be able to contribute financially, especially when we are feeling the strain of it more and more.

I can now apply to work in canada.  But that is the thing...I have to APPLY to work. Which means spending another couple hundred bucks on an application and waiting who knows how long for it to be approved.  Then the actual going out and finding a job.

I am just beyond frustrated with life right now.  I don't even know how to describe just how defeated I feel.  I don't even recognize who I am anymore.  The person I was when I left LA 3 years ago is nowhere to be found.  All of the challenges of the past few years have definitely gotten the better of me.

HAVEN'T I LEARNED THIS STUFF BEFORE??  Haven't I had this lesson??  Haven't I already dealt with the aimless wandering thing already in life?  Everything I am feeling, haven't I felt it before?  Haven't I dealt with it before?? 

I am just frustrated.  Not sure I am even making any sense.  Anyway...we are going to Ohio tomorrow night for the Ohio Study weekend.  Nathan Lewis is speaking, so it will be nice to see him and Suzanna.  Plus to spend time with all of my old friends in Ohio, and to have typical country, fall fun. (bon fire, smores, corn maze, corn hole).

Stuck

So I have been stuck in a rut.  I feel like if it's not one thing, it's another.  I kept telling myself that the reason that I had stopped running was because there was something wrong with my foot.  After a year and a half of not running on it, I put an arch support in, and it seemed to be fixed.  I ran 2 miles and felt good.  Then I pulled something in my back.  That thing in my back has kept me from the gym this week.  The real reason is that I am being lazy.

In general, I feel like crap.  There is no drive, no motivation for literally anything.  I can't get past the negativity I keep throwing out there about how much I dislike Canada, and how to face the fact that I may never teach again.  I don't have friends here, and have been disconnected from my close friends because of where I live.  I know there is light at the end of the tunnel because we have plans to move back to the US.  But I am still stuck in this rut.  I try to be positive of how things are right now for awhile, but that eventually fizzles out and I get frustrated and angry about it all over again.

It makes me wonder if I have learned anything from my past.  I heard a song today that just got me thinking about...everything. 

"And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
And everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned."

Listening to it, I started contemplating the way that I am looking at things.  While this isn't where I want to be, or what I want to be doing with my life, I have to believe that something good will come of it.  I need a major change in attitude, because it is only hurting myself. 

SO as I was contemplating all of these big life things today, I got a really good idea!!!  As time goes on I will let you all in on it.  In the meantime I will leave you with something that has been making me really super happy:

In-Laws

I had a conversation today where I learned about 2 people who were at that moment in time irritated with their mother in-laws.  It often seems to be a common theme in married life that you are continuously irritated by your spouses parents, and vice-versa. 

I think there was a time when my family was chatting one day and Ann started complaining about her mother in law.  My dad just laughed at her and said you think your mother in law is bad?  He said, "after one of you was born grandma and grandpa(my dads in laws) came to visit and your grandma yelled at me about the horrible condition of our house, and how could I let her daughter live like this, and she told me to get a toothbrush and get on my hands and knees and scrub the kitchen floor."  We all laughed and asked, what did you do.  Dad started laughing, "I got a toothbrush and I got down and cleaned the floor".  A prime example of a nightmare mother in law....but I think that was mostly because my grandmother was crazy, and never nice to anybody.

Irregardless, after hearing a story like that I am thankful for the mother in law that I do have.  Certainly she has her own quirks but nothing that has ever really irritated me.  If I were a more uptight person I could have been bothered by one thing that she did....
Her and Mark's grandma made quilts together.  They decided to make one quilt for each of the grandkids(mark, his siblings and first cousins on the cooper side).  They were going to make enough baby quilts for each of them to get one.  So whenever someone in the family has gotten pregnant, they got to go through the pile of quilts and pick the one they wanted.  There are only a few left.  So one day we were visiting them on the island and she pulls me aside and explains about the quilts.  But she says there's only a few really nice ones left and she would let me pick out the one I wanted now.

I can imagine that at this point many people would go crazy saying that my mother in law was putting all this pressure on me to conceive....but I did not see it that way.  She really didn't put any pressure on the situation at all, and explained that she just wanted us to have a nice one.  Fair enough(except the only ones that were super super cute were all girl ones, so I better have a girl cuz that pink and green butterfly quilt I picked was adorable)

So in summary I don't have any mother in law issues.  While I would hate to have a mother in law like my grandma, or this lady I think everything else is just silly stuff that people make bigger than it should be(something i've seen my sister to time and again).

On a Lighter Note...

So have I mentioned that my new nephew is awfully handsome??  All of your neices had better watch out cuz there is another Wilhoit on the loose and he is gonna be a great catch someday.  Thomas Ryan aka Tommy boy is oh soo sweet and I can't wait to see him again. 

Anyway......Here are a few things that I learned in the past week.

1) I am a big girl and I shouldn't get mad when I have to do something I haven't done before and it scares me.
2) Never again leave your husband alone at home for 3 weeks
                 -Except for the dishes and his clothes he will not clean and the place will be disgusting when you get back.
3) Clean the bathroom before you go on vacation
               -I kept thinking I should  before we went to hanover, but didn't.  Came back to the most disgusting looking toilet the world has ever seen. Cleaning it was the first thing I did when I got home...with Mark in the doorway saying, "I meant to clean that" ....sure you did babe.
4) Canadians think a Tornado "watch" is a big deal.  In the Midwest a Tornado "watch" is a joke and it means nothing except that there is going to be a sever thunderstorm. (When there is a Tornado "warning" is when it is getting more serious)  The Canadians in Ontario were quite worked up the other day about it.  It made me laugh...just like I laughed at all the out of towners at my wedding who were getting freaked out by the weather.  Needless to say, it is similar to all of you Californians making fun of how all the east coasters were freaked out by the earthquake.  -What you know doesn't scare you.

So there is really only one other interesting thing to note in my life.  We are starting Marks immigration for the US.  Have to get everything organized.  It is only one simple paper to fill out to start, but we also have to send in a lot of documents proving we are married, and passport photos for both of us.  So starting to get it all organized.  Seriously praying that it all goes well cuz I am pretty sure I can't handle another full year in Canada.

Saying goodbye

I like to think that I take a lot of pride in the friendships that I have, and that I put effort into making my friendships work.  I know that I didn't always do that, but it was something that I learned over time.  Looking back on the friendships that I have had in my life, I know that there are 3 people who I once considered to be my best friend.  For whatever reason, as I grew up, I grew apart from those people.  They went from being my best friend to people I made small talk with when I saw them.  My focus for this post is one of those people.

She was the first friend that I ever made.  We met in our preschool class at bible school.  I was crying because I wanted my mom to come back, and she came up and told me it would be ok.  From that point on you could find us attached to each other every year at Hanover.  When we were young teenagers you could find us in the girls dorm with 3 other girls our age laughing our heads off and doing mad libs.  We wrote notes to each other during all of the classes.  In another few years you could find us in the girls dorm talking about boys and how we had all managed to get boyfriends during the week of Hanover in 2000.  In another few years you could find us sitting in Donner lobby with a huge group of people playing the game 'What If'.
We wrote letters in the years before email, then finally got email and started using that to keep in touch.  We visited when we could, and always had a lot of fun together.

Then finally at the end of high school we grew apart.  I started to realize that we didn't really have all of the same values or outlook on things.  I started to feel like I was being judged.  I said some nasty things, and cut her out of my life.  I felt guilty about that for a long time, and eventually apologized to her.

There is still something to say though about best friends.  Even though there are 3 that I have had that aren't really "friends" of mine anymore, they will still always hold a special place in my heart.  This one especially.

She is going to die soon.  A fact that I have known for awhile, but made all the more real by something she said to me at Hanover this year, and something she put on facebook yesterday.  At Hanover this year, we were reminiscing about the crazy things we did there as kids.  She simply said that she was really happy she was able to come.  -It was the way she said it that made me think that she knew it was the last time that she would ever be at Hanover.  Yesterday on facebook she said that this treatment was one of her last options.  She looked really bad when I saw her a few weeks ago in Indiana.  I know I am going to have to say goodbye to her soon.

I don't really want to do that.  I sobbed the day I found out she had cancer.  I know what we as Christadelphians believe that the people who have died will be raised again when Christ returns.  But honestly, that doesn't make death any easier.  Anyway, it just bummed me out what she said on facebook yesterday and made me think about the relationship we once had.

playing at Hanover in 1994

entering our teens at Hanover in 1998

At a gathering in 2002

Quick Update

So just a quick life update.
Mark was in Indiana last weekend and was going to take me home with him on Sunday afternoon...even though my new visitor visa hasn't come yet, we thought we would try.  Then at the last minute changed our minds and Mark went home without me.  I was definitely sad to be apart from him for another week, but it turned out well.

Sarah called on Monday night letting us know she was in the hospital, so my parents and I packed as fast as we could and drove up to Detroit Monday night.  After a bit of sleep at their house, we went to the hospital Tuesday morning. When we got there her Dr.(Jeremys Aunt) said that she was already pushing.  3 hours later Thomas Ryan was born.  Poor big headed baby boy had trouble getting out so poor Sarah was literally pushing for 3 hrs.  When we walked in her first words were "worst experience of my life".  Only cuz her drugs had worn off by the time she was pushing. 

But anyhow, our Tommy boy is awfully cute!! And he is sooo calm, just like his parents.  He is just soo precious and let his MeyMey love up on him all day today.  It definitely made me wanna have one of my own. But don't worry, that will still be awhile.  We are playing it smart and moving to Indiana first. Saving money to buy land/build a house.  Once we have the house, it is baby time.  So until then I will love up on my sweet nephews.

So Mark is coming to Detroit on Friday night.  Then hopefully Saturday we will try to cross the border and go home.  Definitely praying that goes without any issue.  So that is the update for now.

Valpo

While attending the grand opening of the Central Park Amphitheatre in downtown Valparaiso Indiana, I was sent into high school flashbacks.  I ran into the lady that I used to take clarinet lessons from.  My old band director was conducting an orchestra concert in the park  tonight.

While enjoying the concert with dear heart and hundreds of other valpo residents I saw a girl I went to high school with.  Kara Ponscek.  I was never friends with her in school as she was one of the popular girls...but seeing her tonight gave me to desire to look her up on facebook when I got home.  She ended up married, teaching at the biggest elementary school in town.

Her facebook info page said, "I am in my 4th year of teaching". 

I know this is gonna get redundant, and I expect you guys are tired of hearing me complain, agonize, and be a general pessimist when talking about my own teaching career.  When I saw that on her FB it made me think...I should have four years of teaching under my belt as well.  I don't know how to convey how much this bothers me.  It isn't about just having a job, or making money to contribute to mine and Mark's lives.
It is about facing the fact that I may not ever again get to do what I love.  Sure if I don't teach again, I will still get a job at something, I won't sit on my butt just because I can't do what I want.  But it is hard to face.  4 years of college...wasted. 2 years in LA...wasted.  15,000 dollars of students loans to pay...for nothing.

I know I am being stupid.  I know I have a great life and a great husband who will always take care of me.  In 2014 my teaching licence will expire.  If I don't have a job by then, I am not going to renew it(renewing it requires starting work towards my masters degree). 

I feel like a kid not having a real job.  It is frustrating to know that there is one thing I am good at doing and that I can't do it.  I don't know how to let it go.  I don't know how to move on.  I don't know how to not be jealous when I read some girls facebook that says she has been teaching for 4 years.

Oh DEAR HEART

Since I am at  home with the parentals I thought I might entertain you with a story of my dear sweet dear heart. So on Monday we went to the mall and she wanted to get some sort of lounge around the house outfit for Sarah for after she has the baby. 
We went into the Gap outlet. Found some really cute light lounging Capri's. Then we found a light purple baggy pajama top to go with it.

Dear heart was debating for about 5 minutes on what size to get her. Normally Sarah is a medium.  But being preggo and all she is bigger...especially where the ladies are concerned. So dear heart think maybe we should get her a large because Sarah's ladies are larger than life and the moment.  I agree, the outfit is bought.

Then on Tuesday when dear heart shows the outfit to Ann, Ann's reaction is not as enthusiastic as Dear heart would like it to be.  Dear Heart is now in a state of indecision.

So tonight dear heart thinks we should go look at Target for a different top.  She looks through everything and doesn't find what she wants to replace the original top.  So on we press and then head over to JC Penneys. We go look in the pajama department where she sees a shirt that she is considering. (While in the background I am still trying to convince her that the original shirt is a good one). On we go through JC Penneys looking at every shirt. 

She then stops at this shirt:

And says, "This is cute".  I am thinking that she is considering this for herself and agree with her.  She then looks through the sizes and says, "There isn't a medium." !!!!!!!! It was then that I realized that she was talking about buying this for Sarah.  I ask if that was what she meant just to clarify. She says yes she was considering this for Sarah.  I immediately put the kibosh on that.

We continue walking through the store.  "This is a cute top" she says stopping at this:

It is cute I agree but realize where she is again heading. I point out that if she is keeping the sweatpant capris she got then she needs to stick with a more casual shirt. I also point out that Sarah would never wear that shirt unless she was going to a country concert.

We finally circle back to the pajama section where she finally decides to get that pajama top she saw when we first walked in to the JCP.

Then we get home.  She pulls out the Gap bag with the original outfit, and pulls over the JCP bag with the new shirt.  She compares.  She puts one shirt up to the capris then the other. She then says that she thinks the Gap shirt is nicer, and better quality.  I start cracking up.  Of course a shirt from Gap is gonna be better quality than a shirt from JCP.  Then she starts thinking that the original Gap shirt is better.

She finally decides that it is better and will take the JCP shirt back tomorrow.  NOW she is back to the original indecision of weather the size Large she got will be big enough, or too big for Sarah's expanding ladies.  We debate this for a couple minutes and as I am starting to lose my patience, I pull the shirt on myself.  It is clingy.  I point out that if the Large is clingy on me a Medium will be far to tight for Sarah's post pregnancy body. And FINALLY, the decision is finally made.

Mom concludes by telling me that going to JCP wasn't a waste because it helped her make up her mind.
-So if you think my decision making skills are bad, you now know where it comes from....and BTW my lack of making decisions is not nearly as severe as dear hearts.