Dear heart and her dear sweet heart

When my sister Sarah went off to college several years ago now, my mom made it her mission to send her care packages every now and then. Those care packages would usually contain a letter of some sort in which my mom would sign off by saying that Sarah had a 'dear heart, love mom.' Sarah and her then boyfriend, now husband, thought that was hilariously cheezy.

It was because of those letters that my sisters and I started secretly calling mom dear heart.
If you knew my mom, you would understand that it is a pretty funny nickname for her because it is incredibly true to her personality.  She is a quiet person, hates most social situations, yet has an incredibly big heart. She takes things personally including things that she shouldn't. She emotional. She has a good sense of corny 60's humor. She likes to snoop on her children, and often (humorously) makes them snoop on each other then report back to her.  As anti social as she is, she is incredibly loyal to the people in her life, and takes their hardships as her own.  She is the type of person who if you were her house guest she would spend the entire previous day cleaning in preparation for your arrival. She would make sure you know where to find a clean towel laid out for you in the bathroom. She would fix you breakfast in the morning, make sure you were entertained throughout the day and plan an elaborate dinner for you at night.  Those are some of the reasons why dear heart is dear heart.

Dear heart, to fit even truer to her name worked most of her life in the childrens department at the local library. She was in charge of story time for the little kids and is affectionately known throughout our small little town as Miss Mary the library lady. Miss Mary recently quit her libary job. She is now living a life of early retirement.  This had been a year in the making at least, she kept putting it off because she was terrified of moving out of her routine of the past 30 years and into nothingness.  She is the type of person that likes to be busy, that likes to have a purpose for each day. Retirement=boredom for her.

I tell her it will take some time adjusting, but that she will get used to it. I can't help but feel that we are in similar places right now because we are both not working and not excited by that fact.  However, she has adjusted to that fact of her life easier than I have.  She does call me a lot more now (almost everyday) but when she does call she seems to have found something to do in each of her days. Me on the other hand tends to stay in my pajamas watching tv until 2 or 3. Then I shower and get dinner ready.  She was so afraid of her retirement but I feel like she has adjusted fine.

...just another lesson I can take from dear sweet dear heart. Life if a choice.  My choices up to this point have been bad. So I have decided that I am going to give myself till December 31 to continue in my wallowing. But starting Jan. 1 I need to get over myself, accept life in Canada, and get the heck out of bed already.

My mom does drive me crazy, and we have had plenty of fights even just this year. But in the end, she is still and will always be dear heart.