Favorite movie/book

Hello all.  I know it is Friday night and you all probably have fabulous plans.  Because Mark and I got screwed by our car this month, we are flat broke.  Therefore this is one Friday night that is being spent at home.  Yes, I already mentioned how are car screwed us this month to the tune of 1,700$.  This week it decided to screw us again...fortunately(unfortunately) for only 130$.  But to say the least, we are in the negative until payday comes along.

So instead of having one of those fabulous "date nights" we had frozen pizza for dinner.  Mark is currently on the couch watching hockey (what else does a Canadian boy do on the weekend anyway?).  I am in bed with a glass of wine, some caramels, and watching the movie Eat, Pray, Love.  Some of my favorite movies were great books that I read.  A short list of some of my faves include:

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,
The Help
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Harry Potter
P.S. I Love You


I`m sure I could go on with good book/movie combinations.  I am focused tonight on Eat, Pray, Love, which is probably my favorite book/movie combo.  The book I thought was amazing.  While yes, Liz Gilbert had some skewed views on religion, I still quite enjoyed the rest of the book.

While I have been getting down about the way I look, I know that in my life I am never going to NOT want to eat sweets/unhealthy things (like frozen pizza for dinner).  So like she says in this clip, I have no interest in being obese, it is time to be through with the guilt.

Here's to bigger jeans my friends!

The absent minded professor and other recent adventures

When I was growing up the running joke in our family was that my dad was very forgetful.  It was never anything major.  He would forget things that we would tell him, he'd forget to pick Sarah and I up from track practice in middle school, he'd forget where he put something.  Mom called him the absent minded professor.

Over the weekend I had my own absent minded professor moment.  I misplaced our marriage licence.  I assumed that it accidentally got thrown out with the newspaper.  So I sent away for a new one.  It only cost 2 bucks, and we needed it for Mark's US immigration. On Saturday Mark asked me if I had mailed something that the Canadian government decided they needed relating to our taxes.  DING DING DING!! That's where the marriage licence was...in the scanner where I had made a copy of it to send in for that stupid tax thing.  Absent minded daughter.

Since finding that important paper in the scanner, I was now able to complete Mark's immigration and send it in this week.  Unfortunately thanks to the bank this did not happen.  We need to send a bank statement in with the immigration.  Sadly the last statement had my name spelt Mehan.  To make a very long story shorter, I corrected the mistake and asked for a new statement with my name spelt correctly.  This could not be done.  Seriously?? You can't just send me a statement?  I can't even go in to the local branch to get a new one?  No?? Seriously???  I can't get a new statement with my name spelt correctly (your mistake by the way bank of Montreal)? Really you can't do that?? I can't get a new statement until the next months comes in the mail? 

So now because of the bank I have to wait another 3 weeks to send in the immigration.  I was more than irritated.  I was furious!  I got home from my pointless adventure to the bank closed the door and immediately yelled, "I HATE CANADA!"  Knowing in my heart of hearts that something this idiotic would never happen in America.  My second reaction, after seeing all of the immigration documents spread out and ready to go, was complete frustration followed by crying.  The third thing that I did was to call Mark.  Crying on the phone with him he told me I was being irrational.  However irrational he thought I was being, he agreed that the bank was being ridiculous and he would call them himself and set them straight (typical guy).
He also got nowhere with the bank.  So now we wait.

In other news of my life.....these ARE as good as they look

you can find the recipe here Caramel Apple Cookies

This is currently my new favorite song.

Last but not least...I am going to run a 5k before this year is over.  Running more lately.  It's a good thing.

Hurdles

I haven't felt anything very inspiring, or interesting to post about.  Tonight I was looking for a little motivation so I opted to listen to my favorite Bob Lloyd class from Hanover in 2006.  He made a fabulous point in the class that always makes me smile and get me thinking.  So I thought I would just share it with you.  (I am paraphrasing what he said by the way)

Everybody was excited because it was time for the olympics.  Everybody gets excited about the olympics.  All the countries are there.  Imagine you are in the stands to watch the track and field.  It finally came time for the high hurdles race.  So they all get lined up at the starting line.  The US hurdle running gets in his starting position and looks down his lane.  There weren't any hurdles in his lane! So he was getting all nervous and trying to get the starters attention to tell them that there weren't any hurdles in his lane.  The race was to jump the hurdles and he'd be disqualified if he didn't jump any hurdles.  So they have to get people out to set up the hurdles, he wants to jump the hurdles, so he can run and overcome them and win the gold.

But when we look at our own lives we look at our troubles and get so upset by them.  So be thankful for the hurdles that God gives you to jump over cause you can't win without them.

Not tonight

TONIGHT I WILL NOT SIT ON MY BUTT AND EAT FOOD AND GAIN WEIGHT THAT MAKES MY BOOBS LOOK AS BIG AS PAULI CANADY'S HEAD.

GOING TO THE GYM!
THE END!

Happy day

So it has been one of those days where I have felt incredibly lazy and unmotivated.  So finishing up the day I thought it would be a good idea to look back at the things that made me happy today. The phrase happy day suddenly made me think of this:

Ahem..onto the things that made my day happy. 

* Amber Gerhart introducing me to pinterest

* A clean kitchen

* Delightfully crisp fall breeze drifting through my window

* A husband who just wants a hug when he gets home

* Eric Church and one of my favorite songs





Happily Exhausted

I am happily exhausted after a fabulously wonderful weekend away in Ohio.  It has been my favorite study weekend since I started going as a teenager.  Nathan Lewis gave some great classes on Esther.  He also told me to say Hi to all of you from him and Suzanna as well.  It was really great to see them!!  It was also very wonderful to see my Colleen there this weekend as well! 

This is the weekend where fall officially begins for me.  The air is crisp and so nice to get outside and "play" and sit around a bon fire.  I got to pet a miniature horse named Charlie, who was oh so cute.  I played corn hole with my husband and we dominated every team that we played (including my cousin Jonny and his wife katy...who are usually the best at the game).  Went through the corn maze in which something hilarious always happens.  For me Angie and I found it hilarious that we were walking through the maze with the maze creator and she could not figure out how to get out.

I was also very happy to get a little cuddle in with my cousins new baby Amos (who was born the same day as Colin).

Finally, this picture makes me very happy.

Katy, Abby, Kimmie, Me, and Angie.......the old married ladies.  Been friends with the Ohio girls for a long time now, and this picture  just makes me happy that we are still going to this study weekend and sitting around this same fire just like we did 10 years ago. LOVE IT

It's all good

Well friends, thanks for letting me vent a bit last night.  I am feeling much better today and happy to put yesterday behind me.

It was just one of those rare nights when Mark and I were both stressed and frustrated about the same thing....which makes everything seem a bit worse then it is.  So anyhow we talked and realized we are still okay and will survive the financial burden and I went to the gym to work off the frustrations.

So for the moment I am enjoying the wonderfully chilly fall-like weather and very much looking forward to our weekend away.  Very excited to get back to Ohio and spend time with Tim and Annalee and do those fall like things that I love.

Having a bon fire and playing corn hole make my life happy.  The end.

Fail

Our car broke this week. It wasn't a sudden thing, but one of those gradual things that needed to be addressed.  Unfortunately, it put us in the hole.  So now our credit card is not happy.


That has culminated in providing me with a pretty crappy evening.  I can look at the situation that we are in and realize that it is my fault.  I look at the strain on Mark's face and realize it is because of me.  With a now maxed out credit card and living paycheck to paycheck we are feeling the strain of a single income.  It makes me feel worthless not to be able to contribute financially, especially when we are feeling the strain of it more and more.

I can now apply to work in canada.  But that is the thing...I have to APPLY to work. Which means spending another couple hundred bucks on an application and waiting who knows how long for it to be approved.  Then the actual going out and finding a job.

I am just beyond frustrated with life right now.  I don't even know how to describe just how defeated I feel.  I don't even recognize who I am anymore.  The person I was when I left LA 3 years ago is nowhere to be found.  All of the challenges of the past few years have definitely gotten the better of me.

HAVEN'T I LEARNED THIS STUFF BEFORE??  Haven't I had this lesson??  Haven't I already dealt with the aimless wandering thing already in life?  Everything I am feeling, haven't I felt it before?  Haven't I dealt with it before?? 

I am just frustrated.  Not sure I am even making any sense.  Anyway...we are going to Ohio tomorrow night for the Ohio Study weekend.  Nathan Lewis is speaking, so it will be nice to see him and Suzanna.  Plus to spend time with all of my old friends in Ohio, and to have typical country, fall fun. (bon fire, smores, corn maze, corn hole).

Stuck

So I have been stuck in a rut.  I feel like if it's not one thing, it's another.  I kept telling myself that the reason that I had stopped running was because there was something wrong with my foot.  After a year and a half of not running on it, I put an arch support in, and it seemed to be fixed.  I ran 2 miles and felt good.  Then I pulled something in my back.  That thing in my back has kept me from the gym this week.  The real reason is that I am being lazy.

In general, I feel like crap.  There is no drive, no motivation for literally anything.  I can't get past the negativity I keep throwing out there about how much I dislike Canada, and how to face the fact that I may never teach again.  I don't have friends here, and have been disconnected from my close friends because of where I live.  I know there is light at the end of the tunnel because we have plans to move back to the US.  But I am still stuck in this rut.  I try to be positive of how things are right now for awhile, but that eventually fizzles out and I get frustrated and angry about it all over again.

It makes me wonder if I have learned anything from my past.  I heard a song today that just got me thinking about...everything. 

"And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
And everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned."

Listening to it, I started contemplating the way that I am looking at things.  While this isn't where I want to be, or what I want to be doing with my life, I have to believe that something good will come of it.  I need a major change in attitude, because it is only hurting myself. 

SO as I was contemplating all of these big life things today, I got a really good idea!!!  As time goes on I will let you all in on it.  In the meantime I will leave you with something that has been making me really super happy:

In-Laws

I had a conversation today where I learned about 2 people who were at that moment in time irritated with their mother in-laws.  It often seems to be a common theme in married life that you are continuously irritated by your spouses parents, and vice-versa. 

I think there was a time when my family was chatting one day and Ann started complaining about her mother in law.  My dad just laughed at her and said you think your mother in law is bad?  He said, "after one of you was born grandma and grandpa(my dads in laws) came to visit and your grandma yelled at me about the horrible condition of our house, and how could I let her daughter live like this, and she told me to get a toothbrush and get on my hands and knees and scrub the kitchen floor."  We all laughed and asked, what did you do.  Dad started laughing, "I got a toothbrush and I got down and cleaned the floor".  A prime example of a nightmare mother in law....but I think that was mostly because my grandmother was crazy, and never nice to anybody.

Irregardless, after hearing a story like that I am thankful for the mother in law that I do have.  Certainly she has her own quirks but nothing that has ever really irritated me.  If I were a more uptight person I could have been bothered by one thing that she did....
Her and Mark's grandma made quilts together.  They decided to make one quilt for each of the grandkids(mark, his siblings and first cousins on the cooper side).  They were going to make enough baby quilts for each of them to get one.  So whenever someone in the family has gotten pregnant, they got to go through the pile of quilts and pick the one they wanted.  There are only a few left.  So one day we were visiting them on the island and she pulls me aside and explains about the quilts.  But she says there's only a few really nice ones left and she would let me pick out the one I wanted now.

I can imagine that at this point many people would go crazy saying that my mother in law was putting all this pressure on me to conceive....but I did not see it that way.  She really didn't put any pressure on the situation at all, and explained that she just wanted us to have a nice one.  Fair enough(except the only ones that were super super cute were all girl ones, so I better have a girl cuz that pink and green butterfly quilt I picked was adorable)

So in summary I don't have any mother in law issues.  While I would hate to have a mother in law like my grandma, or this lady I think everything else is just silly stuff that people make bigger than it should be(something i've seen my sister to time and again).