On a Lighter Note...

So have I mentioned that my new nephew is awfully handsome??  All of your neices had better watch out cuz there is another Wilhoit on the loose and he is gonna be a great catch someday.  Thomas Ryan aka Tommy boy is oh soo sweet and I can't wait to see him again. 

Anyway......Here are a few things that I learned in the past week.

1) I am a big girl and I shouldn't get mad when I have to do something I haven't done before and it scares me.
2) Never again leave your husband alone at home for 3 weeks
                 -Except for the dishes and his clothes he will not clean and the place will be disgusting when you get back.
3) Clean the bathroom before you go on vacation
               -I kept thinking I should  before we went to hanover, but didn't.  Came back to the most disgusting looking toilet the world has ever seen. Cleaning it was the first thing I did when I got home...with Mark in the doorway saying, "I meant to clean that" ....sure you did babe.
4) Canadians think a Tornado "watch" is a big deal.  In the Midwest a Tornado "watch" is a joke and it means nothing except that there is going to be a sever thunderstorm. (When there is a Tornado "warning" is when it is getting more serious)  The Canadians in Ontario were quite worked up the other day about it.  It made me laugh...just like I laughed at all the out of towners at my wedding who were getting freaked out by the weather.  Needless to say, it is similar to all of you Californians making fun of how all the east coasters were freaked out by the earthquake.  -What you know doesn't scare you.

So there is really only one other interesting thing to note in my life.  We are starting Marks immigration for the US.  Have to get everything organized.  It is only one simple paper to fill out to start, but we also have to send in a lot of documents proving we are married, and passport photos for both of us.  So starting to get it all organized.  Seriously praying that it all goes well cuz I am pretty sure I can't handle another full year in Canada.

Saying goodbye

I like to think that I take a lot of pride in the friendships that I have, and that I put effort into making my friendships work.  I know that I didn't always do that, but it was something that I learned over time.  Looking back on the friendships that I have had in my life, I know that there are 3 people who I once considered to be my best friend.  For whatever reason, as I grew up, I grew apart from those people.  They went from being my best friend to people I made small talk with when I saw them.  My focus for this post is one of those people.

She was the first friend that I ever made.  We met in our preschool class at bible school.  I was crying because I wanted my mom to come back, and she came up and told me it would be ok.  From that point on you could find us attached to each other every year at Hanover.  When we were young teenagers you could find us in the girls dorm with 3 other girls our age laughing our heads off and doing mad libs.  We wrote notes to each other during all of the classes.  In another few years you could find us in the girls dorm talking about boys and how we had all managed to get boyfriends during the week of Hanover in 2000.  In another few years you could find us sitting in Donner lobby with a huge group of people playing the game 'What If'.
We wrote letters in the years before email, then finally got email and started using that to keep in touch.  We visited when we could, and always had a lot of fun together.

Then finally at the end of high school we grew apart.  I started to realize that we didn't really have all of the same values or outlook on things.  I started to feel like I was being judged.  I said some nasty things, and cut her out of my life.  I felt guilty about that for a long time, and eventually apologized to her.

There is still something to say though about best friends.  Even though there are 3 that I have had that aren't really "friends" of mine anymore, they will still always hold a special place in my heart.  This one especially.

She is going to die soon.  A fact that I have known for awhile, but made all the more real by something she said to me at Hanover this year, and something she put on facebook yesterday.  At Hanover this year, we were reminiscing about the crazy things we did there as kids.  She simply said that she was really happy she was able to come.  -It was the way she said it that made me think that she knew it was the last time that she would ever be at Hanover.  Yesterday on facebook she said that this treatment was one of her last options.  She looked really bad when I saw her a few weeks ago in Indiana.  I know I am going to have to say goodbye to her soon.

I don't really want to do that.  I sobbed the day I found out she had cancer.  I know what we as Christadelphians believe that the people who have died will be raised again when Christ returns.  But honestly, that doesn't make death any easier.  Anyway, it just bummed me out what she said on facebook yesterday and made me think about the relationship we once had.

playing at Hanover in 1994

entering our teens at Hanover in 1998

At a gathering in 2002

Quick Update

So just a quick life update.
Mark was in Indiana last weekend and was going to take me home with him on Sunday afternoon...even though my new visitor visa hasn't come yet, we thought we would try.  Then at the last minute changed our minds and Mark went home without me.  I was definitely sad to be apart from him for another week, but it turned out well.

Sarah called on Monday night letting us know she was in the hospital, so my parents and I packed as fast as we could and drove up to Detroit Monday night.  After a bit of sleep at their house, we went to the hospital Tuesday morning. When we got there her Dr.(Jeremys Aunt) said that she was already pushing.  3 hours later Thomas Ryan was born.  Poor big headed baby boy had trouble getting out so poor Sarah was literally pushing for 3 hrs.  When we walked in her first words were "worst experience of my life".  Only cuz her drugs had worn off by the time she was pushing. 

But anyhow, our Tommy boy is awfully cute!! And he is sooo calm, just like his parents.  He is just soo precious and let his MeyMey love up on him all day today.  It definitely made me wanna have one of my own. But don't worry, that will still be awhile.  We are playing it smart and moving to Indiana first. Saving money to buy land/build a house.  Once we have the house, it is baby time.  So until then I will love up on my sweet nephews.

So Mark is coming to Detroit on Friday night.  Then hopefully Saturday we will try to cross the border and go home.  Definitely praying that goes without any issue.  So that is the update for now.

Valpo

While attending the grand opening of the Central Park Amphitheatre in downtown Valparaiso Indiana, I was sent into high school flashbacks.  I ran into the lady that I used to take clarinet lessons from.  My old band director was conducting an orchestra concert in the park  tonight.

While enjoying the concert with dear heart and hundreds of other valpo residents I saw a girl I went to high school with.  Kara Ponscek.  I was never friends with her in school as she was one of the popular girls...but seeing her tonight gave me to desire to look her up on facebook when I got home.  She ended up married, teaching at the biggest elementary school in town.

Her facebook info page said, "I am in my 4th year of teaching". 

I know this is gonna get redundant, and I expect you guys are tired of hearing me complain, agonize, and be a general pessimist when talking about my own teaching career.  When I saw that on her FB it made me think...I should have four years of teaching under my belt as well.  I don't know how to convey how much this bothers me.  It isn't about just having a job, or making money to contribute to mine and Mark's lives.
It is about facing the fact that I may not ever again get to do what I love.  Sure if I don't teach again, I will still get a job at something, I won't sit on my butt just because I can't do what I want.  But it is hard to face.  4 years of college...wasted. 2 years in LA...wasted.  15,000 dollars of students loans to pay...for nothing.

I know I am being stupid.  I know I have a great life and a great husband who will always take care of me.  In 2014 my teaching licence will expire.  If I don't have a job by then, I am not going to renew it(renewing it requires starting work towards my masters degree). 

I feel like a kid not having a real job.  It is frustrating to know that there is one thing I am good at doing and that I can't do it.  I don't know how to let it go.  I don't know how to move on.  I don't know how to not be jealous when I read some girls facebook that says she has been teaching for 4 years.

Oh DEAR HEART

Since I am at  home with the parentals I thought I might entertain you with a story of my dear sweet dear heart. So on Monday we went to the mall and she wanted to get some sort of lounge around the house outfit for Sarah for after she has the baby. 
We went into the Gap outlet. Found some really cute light lounging Capri's. Then we found a light purple baggy pajama top to go with it.

Dear heart was debating for about 5 minutes on what size to get her. Normally Sarah is a medium.  But being preggo and all she is bigger...especially where the ladies are concerned. So dear heart think maybe we should get her a large because Sarah's ladies are larger than life and the moment.  I agree, the outfit is bought.

Then on Tuesday when dear heart shows the outfit to Ann, Ann's reaction is not as enthusiastic as Dear heart would like it to be.  Dear Heart is now in a state of indecision.

So tonight dear heart thinks we should go look at Target for a different top.  She looks through everything and doesn't find what she wants to replace the original top.  So on we press and then head over to JC Penneys. We go look in the pajama department where she sees a shirt that she is considering. (While in the background I am still trying to convince her that the original shirt is a good one). On we go through JC Penneys looking at every shirt. 

She then stops at this shirt:

And says, "This is cute".  I am thinking that she is considering this for herself and agree with her.  She then looks through the sizes and says, "There isn't a medium." !!!!!!!! It was then that I realized that she was talking about buying this for Sarah.  I ask if that was what she meant just to clarify. She says yes she was considering this for Sarah.  I immediately put the kibosh on that.

We continue walking through the store.  "This is a cute top" she says stopping at this:

It is cute I agree but realize where she is again heading. I point out that if she is keeping the sweatpant capris she got then she needs to stick with a more casual shirt. I also point out that Sarah would never wear that shirt unless she was going to a country concert.

We finally circle back to the pajama section where she finally decides to get that pajama top she saw when we first walked in to the JCP.

Then we get home.  She pulls out the Gap bag with the original outfit, and pulls over the JCP bag with the new shirt.  She compares.  She puts one shirt up to the capris then the other. She then says that she thinks the Gap shirt is nicer, and better quality.  I start cracking up.  Of course a shirt from Gap is gonna be better quality than a shirt from JCP.  Then she starts thinking that the original Gap shirt is better.

She finally decides that it is better and will take the JCP shirt back tomorrow.  NOW she is back to the original indecision of weather the size Large she got will be big enough, or too big for Sarah's expanding ladies.  We debate this for a couple minutes and as I am starting to lose my patience, I pull the shirt on myself.  It is clingy.  I point out that if the Large is clingy on me a Medium will be far to tight for Sarah's post pregnancy body. And FINALLY, the decision is finally made.

Mom concludes by telling me that going to JCP wasn't a waste because it helped her make up her mind.
-So if you think my decision making skills are bad, you now know where it comes from....and BTW my lack of making decisions is not nearly as severe as dear hearts.